"Smelling blood in the water, Democrats are hammering the GOP as losers and pathetically out of touch with increasingly secular American citizens. We told you what the Republicans need to do to fight back - the key point is emphasizing the nobility of America in the face of far left attacks against the USA. With the media solidly behind President Obama, and with operations like the New York Times and NBC News actively promoting vicious personal attacks on conservatives, the war for hearts and minds of the American is intense and brutal. If the GOP wants to compete in 2010, it had better up its game. And it's not only the Democrats pounding Republicans - General Colin Powell and other self-described moderates are angry with the committed right. The general criticized Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter, so there is no doubt that the political battle is not just between the Dems and the Republicans. There is a split within the GOP as well, and nothing makes the far left happier than that."

The aforementioned Ann Coulter entered the No Spin Zone and disputed the notion that her Republican Party is on its death bed. "We've just lost an election," Coulter said, "and I hope the Republicans aren't this insufferable every time we win an election. If you look at this historically, Americans forget how bad the Democrats are, the Democrats come in, and then we come roaring back. And what's peculiar about this is that liberal Republicans are always telling us we have to be more liberal, but the evidence keeps proving them wrong. We win when we're conservative and we lose when we're liberal. A conservative can beat Obama." The Factor added that Republicans are consistently double-teamed: "The GOP is fighting both the Democratic Party and the media, and that's tough. Republicans have to get a charismatic leader like Barack Obama."

Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol, who has a baby out of wedlock, is actively promoting abstinence to teen girls. The Factor asked Dick Morris to analyze the political implications of Bristol's crusade. "Bristol and Sarah Palin are really quite sincere in what they're doing," Morris opined. "But the media is so threatened by Sarah Palin because she's so normal, she's such a regular American woman. The myth has come up that Palin hurt John McCain, but she did not." Morris advised Republicans to stand up to President Obama and his agenda. "There is one person who can unite the Republican Party, and that person is Barack Obama. Ultimately the job of the Republican Party is to oppose Obama and put forth a clear alternative. Obama is enacting the complete liberal agenda, and Republicans should stand for private enterprise, capitalism, health care that is not rationed by the government, and less spending."

Internet sleuth Amanda Carpenter reported that left-wing blogs are gleefully attacking Bristol and Sarah Palin. "If you go to a site like the Huffington Post," Carpenter said, "they smear Bristol Palin to make a political point about her mother. They use her as a prop. Arianna Huffington permits this kind of speech to take place on her web site, she wants people on there commenting." The Factor expressed disgust at the Huffington Post and its proprietress. "Arianna Huffington is the darling of the mainstream media, but she promotes and revels in hateful comments. Huffington can make a ton of money trafficking in this kind of stuff, and it says we are just not an honest country any longer."

Connie Culp, who was shot in the face by her husband Thomas in 2004, has undergone the nation's first face transplant. Her attacker, meanwhile, was sentenced to just seven years in prison and could win early release. The Factor interrogated Shawn Hervey, who prosecuted the case. "This was the most horrendous domestic violence scene I've ever been a part of," Hervey declared. "Mr. Culp entered a plea to attempted aggravated murder as well as felonious assault - we argued for the maximum sentence, but we got about half of that. Connie Culp addressed the court and asked for leniency for her husband." The Factor excoriated the judge who handed down the sentence. "You can't allow an American to blow the head off someone else and then get out in seven years. That's insane!"

The Factor asked Dennis Miller to weigh in on the ailing Republican Party. "The GOP should refer back to the Muhammad Ali-George Foreman fight," Miller suggested. "They should 'rope-a-dope' right now and let the Democrats pass some of this craziness and let them own it. They're going to release Gitmo people and give them benefits? They'll be slitting their own throats if they do that." Miller proceeded to announce his dream ticket for 2012. "The smartest guy in the room is Newt Gingrich, and I don't think Barack Obama wants a piece of that guy in a debate. When Obama goes all rhapsodic, nobody seems to have the jab ready, but Gingrich is a walking Filofax. I would get Gingrich in the presidential spot, Sarah Palin in the vice presidential spot, and I'd bill it as 'Newtie and the Beauty.'" Finally, Miller explained why he won't watch Elizabeth Edwards talking about her husband's infidelity. "Elizabeth Edwards' thing is to share this, Oprah's thing is to monetize it, the public's thing is to sip deeply from the cup of schadenfreude, and my thing is to pass on it. I'm just glad Elizabeth Edwards lives in a 20,000 square foot house, because you don't have to bump into the creep in a house like that."

Liberal Alan Colmes and conservative Monica Crowley entered the No Spin Zone to evaluate Barack Obama's weekly highs and lows. "He's not kowtowing to the religious right," Colmes said approvingly. "He won't be attending the National Catholic Prayer Breakfast, he's not going publicly to pray. This is a good move - this prayer breakfast was never a big deal before George W. Bush." Crowley gave her assessment of the president's worst move. "He asked Congress for $80 million to begin closing Guantanamo Bay, but Democrats denied him the money. Why? Because he has no plan! You don't go out and announce that we'll close Guantanamo Bay without having a plan." The Factor suggested one way President Obama could please both left and right: "He should pray for a plan."

Wednesday's Patriots: Prince Charles and Kermit the Frog, who are promoting environmental causes. And the Pinhead: The woman who spewed profanities at a 911 operator when requesting an ambulance.

Joe Morris, Palm Bay, FL: "Bill, great job speaking directly to Bruce Springsteen. Please tell him both political parties are not looking out for us regular joes."

Christine Leeds-Armstrong, Pitman, NJ: "Bill, please tell Bruce, a native of Freehold, New Jersey, that he was born in the USA and should not knock it."

David Swim, San Diego, CA: "Bill, it blows my mind that Karl Rove doesn't get your point that Republicans need to challenge the left on anti-American statements."

Debbie Livingston, Mechanicsville, VA: "I look at the way Miss California is being treated and think: Why isn't this a hate crime?"

David Parker, Woodbury, MN: "Thousands of Americans are openly supporting Carrie Prejean on Facebook."