The Secret Service needs the services of the great Sherlock Holmes to crack the White House cocaine case. As historians well know, the legendary British detective had his own infatuation with the drug, so his hands-on experience might come in handy!

The Service seems to be giving up trying to find the drug courier, but let's use some deductive reasoning here. What kind of a loon would smuggle blow into a White House tour situation and then have the wherewithal to find a closet in which to stash it?

So, Watson, the tourist scenario is bogus.

That means someone working or living in the Executive Mansion is responsible. Has the Secret Service tested the coke for DNA? We don't know because they won't say.

Does the Service randomly drug test folks with access to the White House? We don't know.

Is Hunter Biden low on supply?

Sorry, insane cheap shot, and now I have to go to confession on Saturday.

My theory is this: the same person who leaked the Alito Supreme Court memo dropped off the blow. He or she has no fear after getting completely away with an unbelievable judicial breech. I'll run this by Sherlock if I can get him away from the pipe.

In the meantime, if you actually think the feds have any interest in solving the cocaine intrusion, you must be on drugs.

So to speak.

Enjoy the weekend.